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Curiosity Killed the Cat… ALMOST

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I am taking a step backwards for this post.   My last post was about the day I met my birthmother, however I would like to go back a month prior to that.   I was hanging out at my best friend Marie’s house, she had been an incredible support during this process (and every day since in every area of my life), we spent lots of our time together.   We were about to drive to my house, but when we went outside we saw a cat that looked quite sick.   It was laying on the lawn just about a house away from hers, was shaved from the neck all the way to the tail and looked really rough.   We needed to do something.   Marie tried to get the cat to come to her but it wasn’t budging.   I am more of a dog person, (I never know what cats are thinking) but felt really badly for this particular cat.   I approached it and tried to call it, to my surprise it came right to me!   I picked the cat up and took it to my car.   We would take it to my house and then call the SPCA to decide on wh
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The Best Blind Date of my Life! ~The day I met my birthmother

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It was a beautiful day in July.   My birthmother and I had decided to meet at a local park.   How do you prepare for this? By that time, the social worker that was in charge of our case had mostly just left us to our own devices.   When deciding where to meet, we had described ourselves and what we would be wearing…as though we were going on a blind date. It seems so ridiculous now.   I pulled my car into the parking lot and took a deep breath, the butterflies in my stomach were intense.   I was so very nervous, but mostly excited. As a got out, a woman was walking towards the car, we both awkwardly smiled and knew immediately it was us.   We hugged, and then she pushed me backwards by my shoulders, I’ll never forget, she said “let me look at you”.   We were both quietly freaking out, it’s hard to even find words to describe it.   I don’t think I’ve ever felt that way in my life, and likely never will again.   It’s so surreal to meet someone who gave birth t
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Hallmark Doesn't Make a Card for this Kind of Mother's Day

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Although Mother’s Day is still a few weeks away, the cards in the store and constant online reminders quickly trigger the stress and anxiety I feel every year. It seems no matter what I do, I can’t get this holiday right.  Either I feel like I didn’t do enough, or I do nothing at all…and I’ve hurt everyone’s feelings.  Between my birthmother and my mom, every year it is an emotional tug-of-war that makes me feel like I’m leaving my birthmother out, or not being fair to my mom. I lived in another province for about a decade, so I was able to avoid the holiday almost completely. Honestly, I didn’t even want to think about it   and actively tried to spend as little time on it as I could. I have now moved back to the same province that they are both in. So, I had no choice but to face my anxiety and emotions head on.   I needed to think about how I could possibly honour both of them and feel good about it. I once had another adoptive mother explain to me how
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